How to find your authentic self and fulfilled life: 25 thoughts to let go of judgement

Of all the habits we acquire from living within a culture the most detrimental to leading a life of fulfillment, in my opinion, is that of judgement.

In the series, that I began last week, the intend is to discover our own truth by unlearning what culture has subconsciously taught us from childhood. We accumulate layers upon layers of habits, patterns and false beliefs that cover, like dust, the essence of our inner being.

Fifteen years back I would not have touched animal print, that I wear with such confidence today, with a ten foot pole. Not only would I not wear it but I also quietly judged anyone else wearing it. “How can they put on something so bold and loud,” I would say to myself.

The problem I realized with time was not with them but with me. I was not confident enough to carry something so bold and loud so I found myself to be judgemental of them to justify my lack of confidence.

It wasn’t till I learnt to own myself, my strength, qualities and inner truth that I began my journey of self-discovery. This discovery then lead me to the greatest truth of compassion, acceptance and love.

As I mentioned earlier, judgement is one trait each and everyone of us has acquired. To a varying degree, we all tend to harshly judge others, situations and life in general. It seems to provide us with instant gratification but contrary to our misconception, it is one habit that holds us back from moving forward in life. We continue to justify our stagnant being by picking on others.

Why we judge others:

There is a whole psychology behind why we all become so judgmental. In a nutshell we grow up in society that sets standards of what is normal, compares us to those standards and teaches us to compete as if life is a rat race.

In fact, it has become a rat race. Looking through the lens of comparison and competition we always find someone skinnier, prettier, wealthier, smarter, wiser, capable, confident, educated, etc., etc. No wonder we begin to feel lack of confidence.

With so much to compare ourselves to in this big wide world we naturally can never keep up and so we become disheartened and bitter. To make ourselves feel better we begin to judge others.

If I don’t feel good about myself, how can I make you feel good about yourself. We want to find solace by finding faults in everyone else. We try to make ourselves seem better in our own eyes by putting others down.

We judge, gossip, condemn and pull down everyone around us. We even go as far as to think our way of being, thinking, and expressing is the only correct way. This judgemental behaviour takes over our brain, our homes, our social circle, our life and essentially the truth of our existence.

Life, in its true essence, is not a race. It’s a journey. It’s not about climbing to the top of a mountain in the shortest time. It’s not even about climbing the same mountain. It is about charting out our own course, creating our own experiences, indulging in what is important to us and honing our own skills so we can contribute to others along the journey.

The divine powers have created us all so uniquely and our purpose is to grow and discover who we are and what we have to offer the world.

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courteously. ” – Steve maraboli

Would we ever look at a garden of flowers and wish every flower was the same? Imagine if the flowers began to complete with one another. Each flower loosing it’s identity in trying to be like the other. It wouldn’t be much of a garden, would it?

Similarly would we wish for a forest to have only one of specimen of trees? No, right? Because we know that every tree with its shape, size, colour and form is beautiful in its own unique way. They all come together to create a magical forest that contributes so beautifully to this universe.

The key to letting go of judgment then is to focus on our own individuality. Real change comes about when we begin to focus on ourselves. By owning and acknowledging our talents, gifts and qualities and focusing on being a better version of ourselves each day we begin to evolve. Soon enough we discover our authenticity and we are ready to accept and encourage others to find theirs.

With this change we begin to accept others for where they are on their journey. We begin to live our life from a place of compassion and love letting go of any judgment.

The next time you feel small, defensive, unworthy, and have an urge to judge another remember any one of these thoughts:

❇️ We are all unique

❇️ Each of us has so much to offer the world

❇️ Find yourself

❇️ Heal yourself

❇️ Nurture yourself

❇️ Be the best you can be

❇️ Dare to be yourself

❇️ You weren’t born to fit in

❇️ Find courage to stand for your truth

❇️ Honour your story

❇️ If you must compete, compete with who you were yesterday.

❇️ Be a better version of yourself each day, no each moment

❇️ Focus on your own journey

❇️ Remember what you give is what you receive

❇️ We all seek acceptance, validation and love

❇️ Honour the other’s story

❇️ You are here to love

❇️ You are here to contribute

❇️ You have so much to give

❇️ Uplift everyone around you

❇️ Together we rise

❇️ Together we are better

❇️ Together we are strong

❇️ Together we are a force

❇️ Rejoice in your own inner beauty and that of others

Each one us is a work in progress but the sooner we begin the work the better our lives become. On our journey to live our most authentic life it is crucial that we begin to recognize our patterns of behaviour, habits and way of thinking. Beginning with self-aware let us break the cycle of negativity staring with letting go of judgment in our lives.

Our mission is not to make others feel small, but to make ourselves whole so we feel no need for judgements.

“Today I shall judge nothing and no one” – Deepak Chopra

🦋 Lets us learn, grow and evolve together 🦋

With love,

Devinder 💖