10 Secrets To Aging Gracefully

The hope, excitement and potential of abundant possibilities flowing in the air make March one of my favourite months. It also happens to be my birthday month and that makes it very special. This year I celebrate my 57th birthday. Yes, that gorgeous looking number 57!

Why am I so excited to turn 57 and why am I making a huge announcement about my age to the world? It, my friend, is a privilege I have seen being denied to many.

I have, a few times, relentlessly participated in the care of such individuals, the begging and the desperate prayers only to find like a freckle of dust they disappeared from this earth. Never to be seen again. Leaving behind but one lesson. This life, right here, right now is a bliss. It is a bliss and a privilege that must be celebrated and accepted with grace and gratitude. It must not be wasted counting and hiding the number and the wrinkles. Against all societal beliefs we must see the beauty and bliss in our years here and learn the art of aging gracefully.

What does the term “Aging Gracefully” really mean. There seem to be many definitions floating around. Aging gracefully, to me, is the art of graciously and thankfully accepting each stage of life, appreciating and living it to its full potential.

We as a society seem to think youth is the only worthwhile and exciting stage of life. Thus we have learnt to create so much negativity, stigma and resistance around the rest of this beautiful journey. We absolutely negate the confidence, wisdom, maturity, experience, and understanding that surface with age. We overlook and undermine the real inner beauty of an individual that unfolds over the years.

As a result we all run around trying so very hard to physically look younger focusing on the chronological number, hiding it from the world, and like a ticking bomb fearing and expecting age related challenges to come our way. We are well prepared and ready to feel and look old.

It certainly doesn’t have to be this way. While the majority of us, bogged down by the number, cave into old age there are those who take charge, defy all cultural beliefs and reinvent old age.

It is very much possible you see, because the answer lies in our own perspective and attitude. Therefore, it’s very attainable. Are you excited? Have I got you pumped up? Great. Before we jump in I would like to warn you that it isn’t easy. You have to unlearn years of learning. You have to take charge, let go of many beliefs and make some serious changes. The beauty is that it is all under our control. It’s doable! Ok, then let’s dive right in.

HERE ARE THE TEN SECRETS:

1. Learn to distinguish between chronological age and biological age: Chronological age is the number of years we have been on this earth. We all relate to this age and follow the social beliefs and norms related to the numbers. We say 30 starts the downfall, 50 is over the hill. Psychologically these belief start to age us. Let us use the chronological age for stats only. Its good to know that age for your passport or on your driver’s license. In everyday living, train your being to reference your biological age. Biological age, is how old you actually feel. This then becomes subjective and now you have so much control over how old you feel and how old you want to feel.
2. Be a lifelong learner. “Once you stop learning, you start dying,” Albert Einstein. What can be more powerful than this thought to encourage us to become life long learners. We, as a society, have so successfully attached learning to school. We get our diplomas or a college degree and breath a sigh of relief. We are done!! Now let’s get on with real life. When real life begins to unfold we feel stuck, bored and bitter. This needs to stop. We are meant to be life long learners and life is one big school. Be a life long learner. Keep your self current. Learn technology, read a new book, take on a new hobby, learn about healthy eating, take dance lessons, etc., etc. Possibilities are limitless and time is of essence.
3. Learn To Defy Cultural Beliefs: There are so many cultural belief and stigmas that hold us back and lead us to live very limiting lives. Our culture says life is over once you have kids; menopause means weight issues; aging means aches and pains; old age is tough; life is unfair; life is stressful. Majority of us buy into these beliefs simply because it’s easy to do so. It gives us an excuse and an escape route for everything. Then, there are those who refuse to follow the existing paths and insist on paving their own way. They take charge and are not afraid to put in the extra work and commitment. These are are people who challenge and defy these beliefs and live life to its fullest at every stage.
4. Do Not Resist Life: . We waste so much of our lives fighting and resisting that which is beyond our control. Aging happens and we only have two choices either we accept it or we waste time fighting it. It’s inevitable that our eye sight will lessen with age so why not be excited at the potential of wearing sexy glasses. As our body enable us to experience all the beauty of this life it is bound to have some marks, scars, roundness, rolls and all. Why not let these be reminders of how our body has always been there for us. Why not embrace, accept and love it for its unconditional support of our journey. Resistance breeds frustration, anxiety and bitterness while acceptance lets us focus on love and beauty. What will you choose? Am I contradicting myself with point 3 and 4. No! See we have to graciously honour and accept what comes our way but we have to indulge and participate in keeping ourselves sharp, fit, healthy and vital at every age.
5. Know Yourself And Take Charge: The best thing we can do for our life is spend some quiet time with ourselves. Taking 10-20 minutes in a day to sit in solitude, away from all chaos and noise gives us an opportunity to connect with our real authentic selves and figure out what is important to us. With this knowledge we can begin to declutter and destress our lives. Further more, it becomes vital, especially as we age and our energies become precious, that we simplify our lives. Learning to say “no” to all that causes stress and “yes” to all that that excites us makes our life stress free, beautiful and peaceful. The only person you need to please is yourself and let’s find out what pleases you.
6. Treat Your Body Like A Temple: We have all heard this phrase many times in our life time. But do we actually live by it? Our body (within which reside our mind and soul) stays with us through the thick and thin of life and enables us to enjoy it to the fullest. It is therefore our primary responsibility and duty to take care, love and embrace it. It’s all fairly simple. Be aware of what you put into your body; exercise and challenge yourself regularly; take time to clear your mind; pamper yourself; listen to your body; rest well and be grateful for what you are blessed with.
7. Learn To Forgive And Move On: As we go through life we have many experiences. Some pleasant and some not so pleasant. We are meant to grow in life and every experience we go though makes us stronger and wiser. Yet, some of us hold onto the difficult times, always wondering why it happened, why we were treated a certain way, why we failed, etc. When we hold a grudge against someone, something or life itself we are blocking all the positive flow of energy. Not only that, we do so much harm to our own health and wellbeing. It effects every vital organ in our body causing many a diseases. Let us learn to accept every experience graciously, focusing on the lessons learnt and forgiving all parties involved. It’s for your own sake.
8. Embrace and Connect With The Inner Beauty: This may seem cheesy but it’s the real truth. Our physical appearance is what God has blessed us with and we have little control over it. (Other then to take good care, groom and present ourselves well.) We as a society attach so much value to physical beauty that we now have young women running to plastic surgeons for assistance. (If this brings you confidence, by all means, but please don’t forget the real beauty is the person you are.) It’s the energy you bring into life; it’s the kindness of your heart and the passion with which you live life. Embrace your inner beauty and let it light up your life. As you age, look forward to this inner beauty unfold further as you learn to be more comfortable in your own skin and learn to live life on your own terms.
9. Dream Big and Set Goals: Life happens in segments and stages. Each stage will call upon a new you with a renewed perspective. We have all heard the phrase “change is the only constant”. Change is bound to happen so learn to change yourself with times and always be willing to reinvent yourself. Set new goals and dream big. I remember on our travels, my husband and I, met this adorable couple. Both in their late seventies and from England. They had literally travelled the world but what stayed with me was that they had not travelled Europe yet. They said, ” we are saving it for when we are old, as its close by.” Age therefore is nothing but perception. Don’t give up on life at any age just keep on reinventing and dreaming.
10. Learn To Live With Gratitude: This life is a true bliss full of little miracles. We each have our beautiful story with little joys, lessons and experiences. Let us honour and appreciate our own story. The more we learn to be grateful for what we have the more we shall be given. This acknowledgment keeps us moving along with such grace.

Life is not a spectator sport. It is not meant to be observed from the sidelines. It is a process that we have to relentlessly and enthusiastically partake in and make happen every step of the way. We have to become an invested player. Fully indulged, invested and committed to the game yet unattached to the outcome. The more aware, conscious and engaged we are with life the more it greets us with openness, possibilities and grace. Every stage of life has so much to offer if we keep an open mind and an open heart. Those who learn this art, age gracefully living life to the fullest till the last breath.

Shall we set a goal to be one of those lucky ones?

With Love,

Devinder 💖

Photo credit: Pixabay; Ravi M; Canva