Happy Valentines Day my friends!! What a beautiful coincidence that today, being my blog post day, happens to be Valentines Day. A day set aside to celebrate romantic love in our lives. If you have been reading my blog you know I love every opportunity to celebrate any occasion. I think life is too precious and too short for us not to. And the more we celebrate the more there is to celebrate.

I know a lot of us feel love should not be celebrated just once a year. It should be a part of our lives each and every day. Absolutely, I couldn’t agree more. However, I would like to draw your attention to the meaning of the word “celebration”. It simply means to take part in a special, enjoyable activity.

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
— Charles Schulz

For us all to set aside one day to celebrate love, an absolutely beautiful and essential human emotion, is incredible. With this renewed recognition and appreciation we should then move forward carrying this love in our hearts and live from it every moment of our lives.

What I would like to argue though, is why it has to be a celebration of romantic love only? We experience love in many other forms and ways.

In fact, it is an essential human emotion. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, love comes right after our physiological (that of foot, water, shelter, etc.) and safety needs are met.

Love is our desire to belong and be connected. It makes us feel protected, fulfilled, bonded and alive. It also gives us purpose and motivation in life.

When my kids were little I would buy little chocolate hearts on Valentines Day for them, and now as they are adults I always send little love notes. It brings such moments of joy into our lives. If I love them so much, why wouldn’t I include them on this occasion?

That’s when I had an epiphany. What if we included in our celebration all forms of love that we are blessed with. What if we expressed our gratitude for every possible being who provides that bond and connectivity for us. Could you imagine the joy that would bring to the world? Could you imagine so much love and gratitude flowing in the universe! It would be like a beautiful dream. Ok, I will not let myself get carried away. Where and how would we begin?

The Many forms of love:

Like I said love can be experienced in many forms and ways. The tragedy occurs when we choose to focus on the negative emotions and experiences and let the love fade away. If we learnt to look past the clutter of other emotions and reached out for love, life would be magical.

Eight places to look for love:

1: Our Elders: (parents, grand- parents, aunts and uncles)

These are the very first people who make us feel safe and protected. They love and care for us to the best of their ability.

“The depth of the love of parents for their children cannot be measured. It is like no other relationship. It exceeds concern for life itself. The love of a parent for a child is continuous and transcends heartbreak and disappointment.” –     James E. Faust

However, as we grow and move along the fast pace of the world and demands of our own lives, there forms a generation gap. In addition, we find it easy to blame or hold our elders responsible for our own failures. Eventually, stuck in the negative emotions we deprive ourselves and them of the beautiful bond we once shared.

If we were to truly observe, our elders carry with them untold stories of struggle, rejection, pain and guilt. Somehow they just carry it all with them like a heavy burden. They never learnt to let it all go. Maybe they never learnt the power of forgiveness; the power of letting go.

What we have to remember is that in any given situation, they did the best they knew how. The love and acceptance they seek dearly is ours. Our love can touch their soul. It has the power to heal them and make them whole. Making time a little to sit, listen and validate their existence can create precious moments. It can fulfill us and them.

2: Ourselves (Self-Love)

This is a concept many of us struggle with. In fact, I think it is something being truly discovered and clarified in the recent times. Society has always attached a negative notion of selfishness and narcissism to self-love.   The truth is that it is neither selfish nor vane. It is, in fact,  essential for creating healthy and loving relationships with those around us.

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small.  My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”
– Kim McMillen

Simply put, self-love, is accepting and liking ourselves for who and what we are. It also means nurturing, caring, pampering and at times spoiling ourselves without an apology. So lets go ahead and spend sometime getting to know our real authentic selves and show a little love to our mind, body and soul. Let’s find self-love.

https://fabulousfiftyfive.com/self-love-what-it-means-and-7-simple-ways-to-practice-it/

https://fabulousfiftyfive.com/darling-dont-forget-to-love-yourself-first/

3: Romantic Love

There is no arguing this one friends. It is a connection we all strive to have. When the cupid strikes embrace it wholeheartedly and never take it for granted. As you settle into everyday life never let the little habits and annoyances get in the way of your love. Fight for the soul connection tooth and nail.

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone — we find it with another” – Thomas Merton

Soul connection by design not by default

4: Siblings

Sibling love is very special in so many ways. It can literally provide a life time of precious memories. We spend so many of our formidable years playing, growing, sharing and learning together. This connection is forever. Even if life grows us apart, it’s so powerful to know there is someone out there who would drop everything and come running to help you, if need be. For different reasons, we may grow apart. But let the strength of this bond always be focused on love.

“Sisters and brothers are the truest, purest forms of love, family and friendship, knowing when to hold you and when to challenge you, but always being a part of you” –Carol Ann Albright Eastman

I can not help but share this beautiful little story that just happened. After nearly 15 years my mom and dad went to India. My mom has a younger sister there who got so sick last year that she literally came back from the dead. (She was in coma for four months.) But she survived.

Before she left, I asked my mom what she was the most excited about, and her face lit up like I have never seen it light up before. “To see my sister, of course” she exclaimed. (My mom is 83 and her sister is about 10 years younger.) When the two met my aunt said to my mom, “How could I have gone without seeing you.”

I am teary eyed as I write this and so grateful we encouraged our elderly parents to visit their homeland. Moral of the story, you may be seven seas apart but your hearts are always in synch.

 5: Our Children

Ask any new parent, they will tell you how they never knew that they were capable of loving so much. The depth and intensity of this emotion can not be felt until you become a parent (or maybe a grandparents – I can’t attest as I am not there yet).

“Making the decision to have a child, t’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. “-  Elizabeth Stone

This is the biggest truth I have ever heard and felt. It actually makes parenting one of the most challenging roles we will ever play. We have a responsibility and that is to protect, care, nurture and guide our children.

But this tremendous love that we feel for them makes us want to shelter them from all harm, pain, struggle and failure. So much so that we, in the name of love, begin to control, and define their lives. We begin to place expectations, and judgments and impose our views on them. We fail to see them as an independent beings. This not only begins to drive us apart but can also be counter productive to their personal growth and confidence.

Parenting then is the art of finding the right balance of knowing where to draw the line. At some point we have to decide to let go, provide guidance when asked and just love with all our heart. Let us seek and find those moments where we enjoy being with this soul who happens to be our child.

6: Friends

“Friends are the family you choose.” Jess C. Scott

The best part about friends is that you get to choose them. So be wise, and be careful who you choose. Your friends have the ability to uplift you, support you and be there for you even when, at times, family fails. The best way to keep friendship alive is not to take it for granted. Always make time for friends even if its a little note or a short phone conversation. Most importantly be the kind of friend you seek.

7: Nature and all its beings

Learn to love nature and all its creations and it will never fail you. No one has ever questioned the unconditional love of a pet. Talk to a gardener about their vegetables or flowers and watch their face light up.

If you are ever feeling a little down go for a nature walk. Observe the flow and synchronicity of nature. The blooming flowers, the flight of the birds, the setting sun, the flowing waters. The list goes on and on. There is no dearth of love in nature. It’s an unending love affair waiting to be discovered.

8: Humanity

It fills my heart with joy to think what would happen if we all learnt to embrace and love humanity. What if we saw the divinity in each other that the world’s great philosophers and sculptures refer to.

No, we as humans love to create lines of separation. We find it burdensome to smile at strangers. We would rather judge each other for our difference of colour, religion, attire, mannerism, beliefs, culture, history, food and so on and so on. We judge others harshly in order to make ourselves feel superior.

We fail to realize we are all the same. We are one. We all have the same struggles, worries, needs, desires, burdens and fears. We are all connected. We are all part of the divine.

Yes, I get it. It’s getting too ambitious. It’ s too much to ask too soon. But you know what isn’t too much, is to start being the change we want to see in the world. Let us start by acknowledging and accepting every one we meet for who they are. Let us not come from a place of judgement or separation. Let us come from a place of love. Let us acknowledge, celebrate and love our differences. For it is our differences that create this beautiful universe.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let us celebrate and embrace love in all its forms. Let’s move forward carrying this love in our hearts for all those we meet. Let us be the start of something magical!!

With love,

Devinder 💖

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